The Definition of Being Human in a Social Perspective. A Blunt Relationship Talk for Women and Men.

11 min readJan 22, 2022


I remember when woman used to have human feelings. Then we were able to differentiate them from man. Men are known for their boldness while women were known for their being soft.

Society changes with the advent of technology. The uses of drugs. And the source of borrowing thinking.

A woman needs to cry if she sees her fellow human feeling hurt. Women are not even met to kill chicken without having feelings. But these days they will. They will and they would be glad for doing such. If a razor blade cut someone, I used to see some other women in the hood back in the days would show concern. Genuine concern. But these days that feeling is lost.

“Men are more ready to cry for the lost of their property over the loss of their father”. Do we have genuine feelings in modern days? Those who claimed to love people are they truly loving or they are just bored? Are they being push by competition in just to be in a marriage or being in a relationship? Human relationship is being cheap these days.

Women are setting up their man for major life issues. Life issues that could impact the opposite sex. Many relationship books that has been published in the past 10 years couldn’t help. It cannot help simply because many were written on personal lens of the author. And the people those books were meant for wouldn’t read such books. Because time is too short. Because they lack that patience to read a text book as much are going on over the internet.

Many of the ideas that we woman use in managing our relationship comes from our Mother. Some comes from our friends. Huge sum of them are from the Nigerian Home Videos. It is only in home video you would see a woman attempting to slap his man. Can you imagine? Something that our grandparents haven’t attempted doing. You see what we hear and what we see has a way of affecting us. We are what we read. We are what we watch. We are our friends. Many of the knowledge being derives from Home Video are adapted into real life. Your husband talks to you on an issue; The Next Thing is for you to Pick up a Knife and Said You would Kill Yourself. Sometime these set of ladies would even attempt to kill the husband.

I always wonder if this relationship things are do or die. If the way women and sometime men out efforts in their relationship is the same way they do for their academic we would have had a lot great invention. Instead, no invention, we are busy buying from China. We keep buying data for read about gossip. We waste data to Download Home videos, Zee world and some film trick movies on love.

This generation need liberation. This generation need to read books. Books that would challenge them or spur them into action.

The lower IQ we have in a relationship as a woman need to be churn. A woman needs to be well read and exposed before being in friendship. We skip stages. And the stage skipped is what is causing most of the societal problems. How do we solve most of this life most pressing problem with short talk? How academic ground is based on cramming. We crammed and give the lecturer what he gave us.

What is it a relationship when a woman would be researching about someone who has dated her boy friend or husband in the past? Does its sound sense. If a man is involved in such act, I would say that man is having inferiority complex.

It is only in this town that I would see broken relationship being backed up with an abusive word. When a man said he is no longer interested, ask him why? Is there anything you can do differently next time? We need our score card as a man and woman when leaving our relationship. A break up is not an avenue to start cursing and reigning word of abuse. Someone must have been pushed to the wall. When a woman insults his partner, something is wrong from the source. That is why we need to be careful as parents when parenting. Children code and transfer some habit from childhood into adult hood.

The major obstacles to many relationships today are this Adviser. You see ladies advising their friends on what best to do in their relationship. Just coming to see that those ladies haven’t gone well in their hers. Characteristics found in such women are pretend. They can pretend to listen with the motive of sharing what they know about you. They would never admit their past. The greatest gift you can find in those Adviser is that they are very lousy. They can be calm. They can as well talk excessively without control. They are gifted in lies. They easily cry. They can be charming. They can lure you into action. They have the ability to seduce you and play into your fantasy.

You can never stop women from being part of gossip. It is their nature, woman nature. But at least they can put it into control. Lack of being busy could make women to be involve in this act. Even if you buy them Walmart they would still gossip.

It is very stressful being with a lousy woman.

The one that drains most energies is the talkative. A talkative does not have a remedy. They disseminate misleading information. Their objective is not well known. They don’t just like seeing a progressive marriage.

It is very good to forgive an act in friendship. But I think it also need to be requested for. All bad habits we are seeing in marriages need to be work on with a different level of thinking. If you have done habits that seems to be shameful you would need to forgive yourself. This era has short cut to get the man they want. But that would fail you some days.

Breaking away from things that does not support your well being is becoming more easier for people these days. I mean people with scope of things.

“I see you as someone with hi9gher capacity” That is how to define and Alpha male.

“How come you guys are compatible? You talk less and my friend is so lousy” Only someone with wide managerial experience can cope. Still an Alpha male.

Marriage battle is now between introvert and extrovert. We can only acknowledge our difference if only one partner especially we woman are ready to be submissive. If you advise people to rue to their man definitely you too would act same. Acting contrary is conflict of interest.

Do not go into relationship if you are not well equipped. Every tribe cheats. The innocent looking girls cheat more than the tattoo girls. There are classifications to prostitution. Prostitute is someone every one of us would have like to do. But we haven’t gotten the chance or opportunity. The great act of prostitution within marriage is so mightier than what we can see on the road side.

My best girl friend ever in this town once told me “Her mother said one-man dick is not meant for one woman” This statement has generated controversy. My Dear ladies, if you want to keep multiple relationship do that while you are still young. Parole the way you want. Marriage should not be an avenue where you would start being a distributor. This is Africa.

That man is gentle that man is gentle was what make one Lady to replace her man through double marriage. Men of these days should know the importance of tasting Alcohol. Because we women are looking for someone, we can control with our Kaya shit! We should have the dirty mindset of doubting everything a woman bring to our table. Women should listen more to their men and do what the man want. That is the only way a woman can have true sense.

I don’t want you again doesn’t mean we should exchange knives or burn down the house. Let us leave each other peacefully so that we can still keep in touch.

If marriage is actually good nobody would ever invite us there. They don’t invite people to better things in Nigeria. Only bad things. We are only there to fulfil certain objective.

Good principles should have been that we make life, lives and living better for others.

Good relationship is focusing on the other person.

No matter when it is going to take do not rush into it.

There is no age to marriage.

Marriage need someone with good intellect.

If as a woman I married a man with dull brain I would accept him because he is my man.

Do not let shyness and what the society would say forced you into decision that would hurt you.

By good principles; marriage should be Win/Win. Marriage is not Win/Loose or Loose/Win or Lose/Loose

One partner should not be happy at the expense of the other partner.

“Would I be happy if I marry you? “I don’t know”

Would you be happy if I marry you? “Yes” My ex-girlfriend said so,

She is very sincere in everything.

Any girl or men that left you has saved you from future serious conflict or life drama. We need to be putting into consideration our own personal happiness when considering if to marry or date someone.

The quality of our life is the quality of our relationship. Love is the oxygen. When we talk about love. We are not talking about the one that arises from beer, fish or material things. Most love that start in beer parlor still fail there. Love is communication. If I cannot communicate to you. There is no point.

Food is very cheap as we can buy it without making it compulsory to eat it from women.

Sex is in abundance along with diseases. You can buy it if you know the mantra “I love you”. Love is an excuse for sex. Many boys in places of worship have dealt with ladies with this. Since we ladies thought that bad boys are those we meet on the road and that good boys reside where we worship.

We need to reset the ways of living. Knowing our differentiation and addressing our issues. We should not pretend that we are well in a marriage when our inner most mind is bleeding. Express yourself in a very constructive way. Issue not addressed is issue multiply. Home work become assignment. Assignment form the basis of test. If you don’t face your test well examination would be difficult to pass. Life is a test. Put yourself to test.

Men should have a strong leadership role skill while dealing with women. Regardless of the type of women. There are women that appreciate coaching more than violence. An alpha male can always be silent on an issue. An alpha male can give first chances to 20th chances before they act on an issue.

If you are looking at privacy issue while dealing with today’s human you won’t forge ahead. You see there is no secret all over. While you are trying to look for privacy the opposite sex might want public battle or conflict. If that is what would fit at that instance. Kindly do.

Sociologically, lack of self-discipline is what is making many men to father a bastard. I doubt if women are mothering child that is not theirs clinically.

Dear ladies, do not borrow ladies advise that is deemed fit for you. If there is something you know you would not tolerate in a given situation know it to yourself.

You see a lady with broken marriage and you are telling her not to allow her children meet their father. That is ignorance of you.

At this level of civilization. All men and women need to behave like adult. We need to behave like someone that British has stepped her soil. It is a privilege that we all make use of English language. We did not buy result in school neither do they forced us to go to school.

We should use our level of knowledge to make people better and not to make life hard for them.

I have help people to have a better living in their relationship.

I helped fixed a broken relationship. That doesn’t mean mine is well packaged.

People rejoice seeing other peoples failing in marriage.

Some marriage would have been renewed had it been the partner at involved can say “I’m sorry “the devil is ruling.

The ego and pride we have these days would never make us to apologize. Do not apologize to him. I changed it for my husband. I did not apologize to him. Keep it up!

The smartphone that we have in our hand is another killer of our relationship. We do not know when to use it. Just imagine a woman busy chatting around 2am while the man is sleeping? Just imagine the content of a woman chat calling everyone in her contact sweet heart. Some men can misinterpret this.

Both genders have a passcode to their phones. Is this not an issue?

Many women are yet to sign out successfully from their ex. The DNA issue is like pandemic. My man is cheating on me. Let me cheat once and it turn to pregnancy. Girl friend what is your advice? “Give it to the good boy of course. We are so heartless as human in some act like this. I know painful when I got a wrong spelling on my WAEC result not to talk of human factor. While some would say when it comes to pregnancy issue, they decide to give it to the one who has financial capability. But in most cases, they give it to the “Lover boy” the one who doesn’t question things. That is society for you.

Many of scenes we found ourselves were not planned. It called for learning to forgive ourselves especially before others. Women and men pretend a great deal in friendship. Men are fraudster while women are scammer. The more chances you give them the more they reveal who they truly are.

Men are just pretending that all is well when it is not well. We have few friends we share talk with unlike the opposite sex. Too many friendships mean too many problems. Among everything that would kill you as a man; women should be the smallest option. This is wine bar debate.

Everyone woman that feel sincerely that they have put in their best should know that better days ahead. Divorce or break up are not things that should be used to castigate you anymore. If you feel what is going to cause your divorce is as a result of what you did not do right feel humble to correct it.

I think for men. The problematic woman we have is a reward of our good days. We should manage the situation. Life is not balance. The fact that you are compose doesn’t not mean that your woman would be compose. Varieties makes life interesting. Hardly do you see a very neat woman with a neat woman. Red cloth and flashy clothes do not justify cleanliness. Teach the good in you. Inspire your woman. Learn how to wash your own cloth and the toilet. A man must be neat. Especially an Alpha male. Do not let divorce take you by surprise. If do not prepare for divorce you would be hospitalized. Differences. Acknowledge differences. You would be more fulfilled if the woman you are sharing home task with has a grateful heart along with a conscience. Women who are respectful sees marriage as an institution. For everyone we meet in life. There is always something to learn from them.

We can be better human if we synergize.

Do you have a story to write?

Are you depressed?

Share your life issues with me and I would advise you at a fee using timeless principle and the right literature. Please feel free to call or chat me on my Whats App line +23470347773284

Ajala Abiodun is a freelance writer on multiple project. Currently working as a Content writer with Professional Side Hustle company. He has written several articles for National Pilot Magazine, Campus Journalist , Cadillac magazine, The focus Magazine , The Dream Builders Magazine , Fellowship of Christian Business Student Association and Nigerian Youth Against AIDS. In addition, Ajala is a Senior writer with Classic Writers Club in which he co-founded and managed with diverse team.

Thank you.